Cocknium - a revolution in vesting

Oi!

Yes, you, geezer - the one with the mince pies looking at this web page.

You have a problem. You have a full suite of tests but they are written in plain English.
So what's the problem?
The problem, my old china, is that your testers are all Cockneys and dont understand a bleedin' word of them.

So it's my great pleasure to announce a new tool - Cocknium - that will take your tests and automatically make them into Cockney Rhyming Slang tests

No coding experience necessary:

Example 1

Oi, as a geezer
When I use this pony
I dont want to see a sausage

pony = pony and trap = app
sausage = sausage and mash = crash

Example 2
Your app automatically orders an extra hot curry when the user returns from a heavy drinking session at the pub

When I'm Oliver Twist
And use the pony on my dog n bone to order a Ruby
After a trip to the rub-a-dub-dub
Then I should get a vindaloo
Without having to cocoa


What brought this nonsense on?
Pretty regularly someone comes along and decides that they are going to revolutionise the world of testing. They find out that running tests manually takes time so hey presto, the magic of automation to the rescue. But not just automation, automation that means that anyone from the CEO to the tea lady can write and run tests and have it fully tested and shipping before you can say Cor Blimey Mary Poppins.

I came across two new ventures this week basically promising the above.
Best of luck to them before reality hits them in their boat race.